sparkle_myst on Xanga

Weblog

Monday, 23 March 2009

Panic - I thought I forgot my password to Xanga!

But I managed to remember it after 3 tries... phew.
Hmm, I'm actually quite excited to blog again. It feels like meeting an old friend :)
I'm logged on today, because my boyfriend kept mentioning that I said B was a better boyfriend than he is... and I said that I will write a blog post to supersede that post!
Why is my boyfriend so emo? -_-"
Anyway, I read a couple of my recent posts in Xanga, and they all sounded really sad, negative depressing etc. BUT, I would like to declare that one of my two resolutions in 2009 is:-
TO THINK POSITIVELY!
Although I have a few 'blockages' currently in my life, I will try my best best best to make my life a more fulfilling one, a better one and a more EXCITING one...
Here's to the rest of 2009! *pops champagne*
... and perhaps I should try to blog again. I'm tired of bottling my emotions and I'm dying to express it again.

Oh, and darling, you ARE definitely a much much better boyf than B

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

Finding my path...

These few months, I haven't been the person I aspire to be.
I felt lost, unhappy and disrespected. I was trampled and belittled, and I found I was not motivating myself to be who I wanted to be.
Yes, it's sad, it's demotivating and it's so NOT WORTH IT. But heck it...
I will push aside all the negative thoughts and words that was said to me, and I will live up to my own expectations. I will neither idolize her nor follow her footsteps anymore but I will find my own path.
I will prove to them all that I am more worthy than what they thought of me.
I will be the person my ex-boss wrote about in my testimonial - a fast learner, opinionated and an asset to any organization.
Two resignations this year... but I'm trying my ultimate best to stay positive, happy and hopeful.
Thanks to those who have supported me, who bitched about them with me, who told me that I am much more capable and worth it and darling, thanks for 'waking' me up.
Just look at me then! This picture was taken earlier this year with my colleagues. So carefree, joyful and fun!
Leaving this place, I will aim to return to the happy person that I used to be. Just like the girl in the picture above.

Saturday, 07 June 2008

Since I started working in the heart of KL, I have been travelling to work and back with the LRT and monorail every single day. To take my mind away from the mundane-ness of standing throughout my journey in the jam-packed train, I usually resolve to my radio phone. Radio music has been my best company ever since.
Everytime the station plays One Republic's Stop and Stare, I will feel an emotional connection to this song... and my mind will float away to me dancing to some random contemporary moves (i recently had a passion for this type of dance - maybe because i'm such an emotional freak. plus, its a good way to express emotions).
So i got curious and checked out the lyrics.
"This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal... for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see "
Omg. It struck me that i felt exactly like this towards my work.
And looking back at my previous protected posts, I have been ranting too much about work and the environment. I think its time for me to move on, although i have been here for less than 2 months.
I have no more motivation to work, the environment makes me feel like I'm back in the high school prison. And I dread my time at work... always looking at my watch to see if time has passed.
Sigh. It isn't a good time to jobhunt either. The government just allowed the petrol prices to go up, and although the effect might not be immediate, I'm pretty sure it will affect how companies allocate their resources etc.
I have been toying with the idea to leave for 2 weeks. But I think I should really go already.

Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Two weeks into my new job...

I went off for a 5D4N trip to Redang Island.
Can't help it. Booked the trip ages ago, and it was going to be a waste not to go for it. Everything was paid for and plus, I cant wait go for another trip with the macho one.
Although initially it was rather icky to constantly have sand on your feet and on the timber floor of the hotel room, I somehow got used to it. By the 2nd day, I was walking barefooted everywhere.
Sigh, how I miss the soft and fluffy sand on my feet...

By the end of the trip, I was the same shade as charcoal and he was a lobster, yelling in pain.
We had our fun there... snorkelling, getting bitten by colourful fish, swimming after turtles and reef sharks, suntanning, sleeping, reading novels, getting to know other tourists and climbing rocks with them to watch shooting stars...
And I was thinking about my dear friend, Erica, during the trip. Thought she would be really fun to be with on a holiday.
So I bought her a postcard and told her exactly what I felt.
Maybe we'll be planning another holiday with her :) It will be heaps of fun then!

Monday, 12 May 2008

He jumped out of the bed when the alarm rang at 8.30 am.
"I gotta go back."
I opened my eyes, staring at him lazily. Truthfully, I wished he stayed in bed longer.
But he started putting on his socks from previous night and grabbed his car keys and wallet from the side table.
When he saw me refusing to get up from my bed, he leaned over and whispered "I love you, bee." He looked at me for a while. I was too tired to do anything... my eyes still shut.
"Even in the mornings, you still look so beautiful to me. I want to wake up to you every morning" he added.
Already feeling warm and comfy underneath my blanket, his words just melted me. I managed a smile and he kissed my forehead.
I never told him that he's the person I want to come home to, after a day of stressful work, and to snuggle up to at nights. When I'm feeling all down and worried, his simple reassurance means a whole lot more to me. Also, his occasional kiss on my forehead never fails to reassure me that he cares for me.
Darling, you add much meaning to my life. Heart you so much.
Walking hand-in-hand never felt better.